The One that got Away~ Old Friend~ part~18

By early winter, I could saddle my own horse, with no help. I could feel the strength slowly returning to my body. The feed bucket I had used as a mounting block had long since been tossed.

Now when I say saddle, that is a stretch. Maggie allowed me to waller the saddle up her side, then back. I couldn't have asked for a more forgiving horse.

Our rides consisted mainly of working in the arena. We both needed much reteach time. She had forgotten nothing, only grown lazy. Guess she decided she had reached full retirement and wasn't quite sure she wanted to return to the workforce.

Some rides we accomplished a great deal. Some she actually acted a fool. I understand I have painted a fairly benign picture of this horse, but she is far from a beginners' horse. I learned early on why lunging was so important prior to riding. Alexis had explained she needed to work the vinegar out of her. I disagreed.

Every day brought a brand new day for Maggie. She was the dominant mare, my alpha girl. Each day the record had to be set straight. The groundwork provided this for both of us. It allowed me to reinforce the very real fact that I was the true alpha mare. Sometimes I hated the fact this time had to be wasted prior to riding. The times I skipped this step the ride usually ended up being unpleasant. Other times I loved watching her mind work at the end of the line. Oh, the bucking, the kicking, her drama. I found all of these amusing. After a bit, her body would relax,

accept my cues, and finally, when asked to whoa, that short stop, her spinning to face me, licking, sighing, all but asking, "What might I do for you now?" I loved her most at these times. The last test. Standing completely still, lunge line on ground, holding eye contact with me. Oh so tempted to move toward me, but not allowed. After several minutes of standing and maintaining eye contact, only then would she be cued to move to me. By patting my hand over my heart, this gave her permission to enter my space. At this point, we were ready to ride. At this point she realized I was the alpha mare.

Winter would soon be here. I understood we were to have a harsher winter than usual. I hated the cold, especially the wild north winds, so piercing, so unforgiving. I found soon enough my body could no longer tolerate the cold. The neck spasms returned, along with deep, aching shoulder pain. It took longer to dress to feed than it took to feed.

Back into retirement Maggie and I returned. I prayed for an early spring. Instead, winter of 09 became one of our coldest; we even had a white Christmas! Our first in 80 years! Oh, how I wanted to ride in the snow but I knew better. Best to stay inside.

The winter days drug on. Again, I had lots of time to think, which isn't always a good thing for me. I felt trapped back indoors. Most importantly, I had to accept the fact that my days of doing bodywork were probably over. This issue I had ignored for months. I had renewed my license in October, knowing the whole while I would probably never use them.

For everything there is a time and a season. I don't know how I knew, but I did. That time in my life was over. It was supposed to be over. Intuitively I understood should I attempt to replicate that experience, I would fail. I had accepted this.

I felt stuck. Winter has always been a hard season for me, particularly this winter. I filled the days caring for my animals, kinda cleaning house and running mundane errands. This had become my life. The key~stay busy. I looked about the house. Everything was cream colored.

I am anything but cream.

I started in the living room; a rich earthy red. With the white trim and mouldings, everything popped.I loved the color, so warm and inviting. This was close to the same color I had painted my waiting area. By the time I finished with this room, my legs had gained quite a bit of strength, just from climbing the ladder.

I moved to the cream colorless kitchen. BLAH! Back to the paint store. I found the most lovely

shade of almost periwinkle, named thistle. If you don't have thistle weed in your state, sorry. I don't know how to describe it. It is spot on the color of the thistle plant. Very cool toned and the most amazing array of accent colors can be used with this color. When I climbed down the last time to wash my brush, the waistband of my fat jeans had loosened. I was working off some weight!!!

Next to the bathroom. I loved the master bath. It was a large room and with the huge mirrors, it tricked the eye in believing it was even larger. It too was cream. Cream had worn me out!

I found a rich mink brown. This took courage for me. I feared getting too dark, too extreme.

The brown ended up being perfect. This room also had a large east window; combined with the mirrors it did feel spacious. In the pre-brown morning light, this room could be blinding. The brown took care of this as well. And like the thistle, so many accent colors complimented the rich mink. And, once again, more weight had been lost.

All this painting answered no life questions. Maybe I could hire out as a painter. I must say, I am good. Had an uncle that was a professional painter. He and my dad had left me with tons of pro painting tips. Yes, I can paint, but I am sloooow. If paid by the job, I would starve to death. Besides, I had to be careful with my neck. I had to take many breaks during the day to ice my neck. This added to the time as well.

Nix the pro painter idea.

Oh, what to do? I had always worked outside the home. I enjoyed people. I loved the stimulation of being around others. I so missed this.

Lonnie had gotten an iPhone for me plus opened a Facebook account. His sweet attempt in helping me feel less isolated. This was for Christmas. I had messed with it a little and knew how to operate the simplest of apps.

My neck had become sore enough I knew I needed to take a break from the brush.

I opened the FB app and began looking. I think I had about a dozen friends. I began making contacts. Most were casual friends. We could chit chat about weather, current events and the like.

Let me explain. I came into the 21st century kicking and screaming against technology.

I refused to use computers. I hated them. I believed the more electronically we became connected, the more disconnected we became personally.

I still wanted paper mail. I wanted to see handwriting, as personal as DNA, scrawled across an envelope. I loved hearing voices on the other end of the line. I still mourned the death of my rotary dial phone!!!

I was the original neo-Luddite.

Soon I realized if I wanted any contact with my children, I had to learn to text. We all know we will do anything for our kids. Today, I text.

Maybe having FB friends wouldn't be so bad. It might actually be fun. I found myself thinking of so many people I had lost contact with over the years. What had happened?

I no sooner had this thought when her name jumped off the screen at me. It was Jan!

My Jan!! Jan who had been my dearest friend since high school! Jan! My writer friend! She was editor of our little school paper. I was her sidekick. We were going to grow up to be writers!

We cheered each other on, always had the others back.

We married within the same year. We had our daughters 11 months apart. Unfortunately, we divorced within a few years of one another, then later remarried and had sons 3 weeks to the day apart.

What had happened? We had not talked in years. She continued to have children (2 more) and they were very close together. About the same time I was back in school and had moved many miles away. I suppose our lives had become busy. Poor excuse but that was all I had.

After several postings and a few phone conversations the 15 years melted away. We were caught up and continued to chatter as if no time had passed at all.

She had had surgery at Christmas. Continued to be in much pain asking,"When ya gonna come see me?" I think she was half kidding. Too bad. "Let me make arrangements for all my animals.

They keep me pretty home bound. I'll see if I can board them." "Oh Lord, just bring em. We even have room for the horse." Clearly, she didn't mean it. "Bring them, Terri! They can't hurt one thing!"

I promised to call her when I had made all arrangements. "We'll talk soon!"

I hung up more excited than I had been in months! I couldn't wait to see her, be in her kitchen, see her children, and get out of this house!!!!

The distance of the trip concerned me. I'd be traveling half way across Texas. Think I was looking at 6-7 hours with 3 dogs. Maybe longer. Well, there was no way to know if my neck would make the trip without driving it. This would be the longest distance traveled since the accident.

I loved rode trips! I had not been anywhere in so long! Ordinarily I would dread the ride to her part of Texas. Not much to see and nothing to do when ya get there!

But I was going to see Jan! I could so understand how she was feeling. When I was at my very worst, some days I would cry. Just the chronic pain and loneliness drove me to tears.

I prayed my visit would lift her spirits.

I left a couple of days later. The guys had full instructions on Maggie's care. Max, the 16 year old mix breed wasn't going with us. This trip would be too hard on him.

My travel buddies would be one basset hound along with two schnauzer sisters. I figured if our friendship could withstand 4 muddy dogs(counting her one and it was storming) 2 teenagers and 2 old women in pain........well, we could withstand most anything.

The rain beat down as I headed west. West to the flat lands. West to find her home on the range. West to find my old friend.